on crushes- just her imagination

Upon hello, I’d already built you up in my head.
Confirmed your proportions,
Knew your breath on my neck,
Traced traces of your tongue cross the
Small
Of my
Back.

Your sideways smile
Creeps the corner of your lip as
I sign the lease on our home.
Lots of light- cozy, earthen toned.
A small, open space to symbolize our closeness.
Just enough room for
your turntables and my easel. (We’ve always tolerated each other’s nontalent talents.)
And the Bed-

It keeps us doing all that matters, while getting nothing done.
A tub… records…papers- dogeared books all spilling over-
Wax remnants fill a windowsill beside a grayish, slinky cat.
You put the kettle on,
I draw the bath.
Shadows in crevices highlight
nude nooks and angles-
Special spaces you and I found
Together.
unending exploration.
involved conversation.
It wraps round my fingertips.

Suddenly “we” has dissipated in the air before me,
And I feel you searching my eyes.
I am burning there, suddenly shy and impossible-
Knowing
you are knowing all these
silly ideas I let my head run wild with.
In an instant, they are vapor-
And I, walking away, am beginning my careless
pretendings with the man
to
your
right.